Sleep.

*pokes*
Oh hey, look at that. I'm feeling better =)
I think it was just the lack of sleep yesterday that was making me mooooodyyy. (It's amazing what a good night's rest can do for your mood.)

Want.

Man. It really sucks when you don't get what you want. Not that I didn't already know that... but it tends to make me say some craaaazyyy things. Probably because it stresses me out and makes me anxious. *Sigh*

Like, for example, how I'm in the same predicament I've always been in. You may be "connected" to someone who lives close to you. But I'm still pining over the same forbidden fruit with nothing to take the edge off. I'm the one who's still alone.

Yes, I know, I will be my own downfall in this matter. I'll say something I'll regret and I won't be able to take it back. If only I could control my damn emotions.

And how every time I see her name on your facebook, I get a little bit sick to my stomach. It's not even that I hate her. I'm sure she's a fantastic person. It's just my psychosomatic response. Yeah, I just went AP Psych on your ass.

Strength

I would like to say I'm proud of myself for being strong; but the truth is I'm weak. If I was strong I would leave you behind and never look back. But I can't do that. I want you too much. I don't know what the future will hold, but I look forward to it because it's a time other than the present. Nothing has changed, but my heart feels heavy with jealousy. I've made peace with it, or at least I thought I had...

Nothing's Changed.

I realized that nothing's really changed. We're just the same as always. Hopefully we'll come out better for this.

Ohh boy.

Ohh boy. Some heavy things to get out tonight.
I just want to let you know, this is going to be a mess and out of order and what not. I'm writing what I think as I think it. No more, no less.

I think she's a bitch for what she's done to you. Rowan just broke up with you and she already asks you out? I guess I'm a bitch too then for wanting it... but there was a reason I was leaving the decision up to you. In my heart, I knew there was a chance of it not working out.. but still, I hoped. And in the sliver of a chance that you might hope for the same, I wanted it to start out right. I wanted to give you time, time to think, breath, figure everything out. Instead? You flit right off to another girl. I think that's disrespectful, both to Rowan and to myself to fly off so suddenly.


...more later? when I can think, perhaps...

Si lo que ha pasado... Spanish Version

Si Lo Que Ha Pasado...
Si lo que ha pasado, nunca pasó,
Hubieramos sido personas diferentes a las que somos hoy.

Los ojos tuyos no hubieran sido tan encantados,
Ni el pelo tuyo tan negro.
Los besos tuyos no hubieran sido tan queridos,
Ni las manos tuyas tan suaves.

Si lo que ha pasado, nunca pasó,
No te hubiera amado como te amo hoy.

Some new poetry...

Okay, I guess I'll post the crappy poems first...

Waiting
Her smile falters,
A tear runs down her cheek;
"Why did this happen to me?"

Is this all just because
Of what was?

Or is this something new?
"I'll wait for you."

It would be nice to think
She'd wait for eternity.
The reality?

Don't make her wait forever.



Sweet Dreams
I asked if you wanted to go
And you said, "No dear, not quite yet."
But when I was quiet for too long,
Your soft snores enveloped me.
If you had only woken up,
You'd have heard all of the sweet names
I called
Sweet dreams.



The Beginning of the End
Do you remember that first day?
Well I do.

Walking down the street,
Hands in our pockets.
Mine in yours, yours in mine.

There was no better feeling,
Than your arms around me.

The rose, sweet-smelling
And silky red in my hand...

I don't remember
Where we were going;
It didn't really matter
Because we never got there.

It was raining,
In the end.

Wanting. Waiting. Wishing.

Feeling pretty down right about now. I'm not really sure why. I should be happy with what I've got. Is that so impossible for me? =/

Wanting. Waiting. Wishing.

Wanting, because of all that you do. It makes me want you more, and my only hope is that you want me just as much. I wish we could just go into our own little world. At least there, everything would be okay.

Waiting, because I won't push you. Whatever is going to happen will happen. You know what I want; I want you. The rest is up to you. I will wait for you, I just hope it won't be for nothing, again.

Wishing, because there are so many things I want right now. Want, want, want. I sound like a little child. I know I can't have any and everything I want. But that won't stop me from wishing and hoping for it.

I admit that sometimes I'm jealous. You are a ladies man, to be true. But I refuse to act on it. Neither one of us deserves the mess that ensues.

How come I can never take my own advice when it comes to love?

Easter

HAPPY ZOMBIE JESUS DAY!

My icon is officially a zombie bunny. So when you need help finding those hard to find Easter eggs? ZOMBIE BUNNIES TO THE RESCUE!

(Just beware, the vampiric cupcakes... they'll bite your face off >.>)